How to Lent: A journey toward the cross

Ash Wednesday. The start of the Lenten season. A beautiful time to re-dedicate your heart to the Lord. Notice I didn’t say an “easy” time. It’s not supposed to be. It’s a time for sacrifice, doing more, growing stronger in your faith and closer to our Lord. And yesterday when I was listening to someone speak about Lent, they said “Keep the end in mind.” And that really resonated with me. Back to that a little later.

Prior to that I had been contemplating what I was “going to do” for Lent. What would I give up? What would I take on that would really be hard for me… what would really be a sacrifice? And I came up with several things that I’ll share with you that I’m doing and maybe it’ll spark a little inspiration for you. I think the key is don’t be too lenient, but don’t go overboard and be so strict you set yourself up for failure.

Stop listening to the radio during my commute.

You may be thinking? Why? And to that I would say, thanks for asking 😊 I find myself turning on the radio, scrolling constantly through the stations. And for what? To find what? Most songs on the radio right now don’t “do” anything for me. Half of the lyrics I either don’t understand or find silly or inappropriate. I guess that makes me old. But beside that, really, I’m just filling the silence of the car with noise. Have you ever tried driving anywhere without the radio on, when all you isten to are the thoughts in your head? It’s hard – mentally challenging for sure. I listened to a podcast just this morning about how the thoughts in your mind reflect what’s really in your heart. Quite honestly, it’s humbling, and I find myself wondering “where did that come from” when random thoughts enter my mind. Do I really think that? Feel that way? Fr. Mike Schmitz encourages us to stick with that question and dive deeper into it to find the answer in order to continue to learn and grow more about ourselves as Christians.

I challenge you to try it. Tomorrow morning leave the radio off.  Use that time to dive deeper into your relationship with the Lord. Literally speak to Him out loud if you want to. He’s listening. And He speaks to YOU in ways only YOU will understand, but you must be listening.

And on days I’m struggling in conversation with the Lord, I'll reflect on His word through some of my favorite Catholic podcasts: 

No more coffee on the weekends.

Now, this one seems childish and silly. I know. How much meaning could really come from giving up coffee. But if you know my love for Groundhouse coffee, you understand. What I realized when contemplating giving this up for Lent was that although I wasn’t stopping in daily to get my coffee fix, I was there like clockwork on Saturday and Sunday. Like if I didn’t get my coffee, my day was thrown off. I had made it a habit, not a treat as it originally started out. I need get back to that way of thinking about it. Like my husband reminded me the other day, Alicia, there are differences between “need” and “want.” I NEED Jesus. I just want coffee. And so, come Saturday at the time when I would normally be rolling up to my favorite place, it’ll serve as my reminder about needs and wants. Is there something in your life like this? I’d love to hear about it and if you’re willing to put in on hold during Lent.

No more yelling – more patience.

Not going to lie. This one is going to be tough. Already this morning the boys put me to the test. I literally had to use a sing-song, sweet voice to talk myself down. It’s not that I yell all the time, but I resort to it when the boys aren’t listening and seem to be completely ignoring me. And then I feel horrible. I mean, sick to my stomach, worst mom ever, they’ll never forgive me horrible. So, I’m keeping God’s patience with me at the forefront of my mind – especially during the morning routine which is where my patience seems to be worn the thinnest. He is so loving and patient with me when I falter, and I need to extend that to my family as well.

So, while these things may not seem Earth-shattering, I pray they will bring me closer to Jesus and that no matter what hardships I may encounter, I keep in end in mind - that I remember I know how this story ends and it ends in victory.

I pray the Lord speaks to me through these small offerings and helps me to extend the love and grace He has shown me to others.

I pray no matter what you have chosen to give up – or take on – this Lent, that you have come to it thoughtfully and prayerfully and that you will keep the Lord close to your heart.

How long does your workout really need to be? A Transform: 20 Review

Definition of a really good workout: one you hate doing but also LOVE because you feel stronger, accomplished and ready to do it all over again when you're done.

Am I right?

Let’s face it – working out and eating right aren’t easy on so many levels. If they were, the obesity crisis that faces our country wouldn’t exist. But speaking from personal experience as someone who has in the past struggled with body image, food and anxiety – fitness has been a great outlet and “therapy” of sorts to help me work through these issues.

A couple a days ago I finished Transform 20, celebrity fitness trainer Shaun T’s most recent addition to the Beachbody fitness library - a 6-week high-intensity step workout program designed to help transform your body and mind in 20 minutes a day.  Yep. Twenty. Mintues. Not 21. Twenty. Two-zero. I must admit that while I was skeptical, I was more intrigued and excited. I hadn't done a step workout since The FIRM series I had done many years before in college.

Who is this workout program for?

Like most other Beachbody programs, no matter what your fitness level, so long as cleared by a doctor of course, you can tackle this program and do so starting right where you are in terms of your fitness level. But from the minute you hear "Go" you better be ready to work. In the first couple minutes, you will be breathing heavy and breaking a sweat no matter how fit you are. You don’t have to be in peak physical condition to get started and there is a modifier who doesn’t even use a step, so even if you don’t have one this program is still completely doable. Some of the moves with a step are easier than without and the opposite is true as well.

What are the workouts like?

The workouts are 20 minutes long which includes your warm-up (doesn’t include your cool down -  typically a few minutes) and while an aerobic step is not REQUIRED, it is recommended for increased results.

Fitness Trainer Shaun T leads you through each full-body workout, breaking down the complete 6-week program into 2-week chunks that increase in difficulty and intricacy of moves. You'll see push-ups, squats, planks, moving planks, crunches, burpees, lunges and moves that don't even have a name. Ha!

Your 6 workouts a week are: 

BURN

FASTER

STRONGER

POWERFUL

CUT

BALANCED

(You can check out some videos of me doing the workouts on my Instagram Story Highlights under Fitness.) 

COMMIT For Weeks 1 and 2, it’s all about just showing up and putting in the work. These first 2 weeks are intended to build your foundation, get used to the step, get your mind right and your body moving and sweating.

CLIMB In Weeks 3 and 4, the intensity is dialed up and new moves are added in playing on the idea that the harder you work, the better your results, which will motivate you to work even harder.

CONQUER For the final 2 weeks, Shaun T really drives home the point of seeing just what you’re made of and what you can achieve. This phase is all about the mind-body connection and how they work together to really help you transform. (WARNING: there is a 60 minute workout on your last Friday workout of the program called Shaun-A-Thon. It’ll kick your butt and definitely challenge your mind in the best way!!)

Each workout in each phase contains three transformers. Transformers are 1-minute moves where you count your reps. You record each of these day-to-day and week-to-week in essence competing with yourself to keep pushing and improving your number of reps on each move. And when you purchase the program you have access to download and print ALL your tracker sheets and other materials. I really like this aspect of the program being a competitive person! 

Another challenge that I loved was the “Silent Workout.” The only words you’ll hear from Shaun T during this workout is the word “next” which cues you to the next move. You’ll really have to dig deep into positive self-talk without Shaun’s motivational words in your ear – a true test of your mental toughness. If you’re like me and LOVE working out 😉20 minutes a day just doesn’t do it for me. So take advantage of the bonus weight workouts and shorter 10-minute ab, butt, cardio and recovery workouts that are available for days you’re feeling strong and wanting a longer sweat sesh.

After completing each phase, you can add a sticker to your step to celebrate your accomplishments. Young or old, I getting stickers is always fun 😊

Is there a nutrition component/meal plan?

Among the other materials are your nutrition guides and recipes. On-point nutrition is key to success in any fitness program and this program includes tools to help you determine the calorie bracket you should be eating in, a guide to help you track your food and even includes food lists and recipes that you can incorporate into the 6 weeks and beyond. I found it incredibly helpful to have pre-made worksheets I could journal my food and workouts on to help hold me accountable to what I was putting in my body. Writing it down and literally facing it made is very real!

What kind of results can I expect?

This may sound like a cop-out, but it really depends on you. And mostly how closely you follow the nutrition plan. You can’t overcompensate for eating crap especially when your workouts are only 20 minutes a day. Stick to the plan. Results will vary from one person to the next. But the program aims to sculpt your glutes, chisel your abs, strengthen and define your upper body, and burn fat all over. While I did lose a few pounds, my ultimate goal wasn’t to lose weight. I know I got stronger, though! My transformer numbers spoke for themselves. 

What else can I expect with this program?

A deep dive into how to overcome mental obstacles. As I mentioned, this program is all about the mind-body connection. And each week, you’ll get to walk alongside the cast, including Shaun T himself, as they all work to overcome challenges in their own lives. One of the most moving episodes is when Shaun T shares a photo of himself when he was overweight and the struggles he still has to this day when it comes to his health and fitness and looking in a mirror. It’s not a picture perfect, toned, happy cast. It’s raw and real and relatable and a totally welcome addition to this program. It really helped me to gain perspective and set a focus before each week.

Fitness is not a one size fits all and you know your body, fitness level and likes/dislikes best. However 20 minutes a day is doable for EVERYONE. 

And if this program speaks to you, take the short quiz below to pick a path that's right for YOU.

Which challenge pack is right for you? If you have any questions, I'm happy to help! Just shoot me a direct message on Instagram or email me at coach.alicia83@gmail.com

My basement is my gym.

I stream my workouts on a Roku on our basement TV.

Handbag Essentials for a 30-something Momma

In a previous post I took a trip down memory lane – handbag style – and shared my current favorite bag: a Stella and Dot tote bag. What I didn’t go into great detail on was just how hard I am on bags. I have So. Much. Stuff. in my bag. It’s actually a little embarrassing. I know this. And so I have tried switching to a smaller bag/purse. It just didn’t work. It always ends up looking even more ridiculous because I try and cram the same amount of stuff in a smaller space and can't even get them closed.

So, it got me thinking about what all I put in my bag and I thought I'd share! 

Here are my handbag essentials as a 35-year-old momma of 3:

At least one book I’m reading for pleasure because especially during the work day, it’s nice to have an escape. I’m typically reading more than one book at a time, though, so you may find 2-3 in my bag. If you peeked in my bag right now you’d find: The 52 Lists project, The Other Side of Beauty and Perfectly Yourself

Facial tissues, hand lotion, lip balm, pain reliever and hand sanitizer because these are items you'll use at least one of per day... for yourself or for your kids

Feminine items this one is pretty self-explanatory. No surprises :)

Cell phone and charger because nothing is scarier in this day and age than a dying cell phone since we treat it like a lifeline. Along those same lines, ear buds! I love using one for a hands-free option if I need to make a call in the car and for listening to music/podcasts at work.

Ponytail holder because even when I wear my hair down, at some point it annoys me and I have to pull it up. I typically have one on my wrist as well which I’ve heard bad things about, but eh.

Wallet and keys because duh.

Shakeology or a Beachbar because it makes for a great, healthy snack or lunch in a pinch if I am running late and forgot my lunch or have to work late.

Gum, mints or a travel toothbrush and toothpaste because if you’re anything like me, you chew gum after every meal throughout the day. Probably not the best habit but I can think of worse, and if you eat anything with strong flavors throughout the day, you’ll need to combat that somehow!

Some things that I DON'T have in my bag that I probably should - and I know my own mom does because she has EVERYTHING ;):

1. Cash - at least a quarter for Aldi :)
2. Travel wet wipes
3. Small mirror
4. Band-Aids
5. Nail clippers/nail file
6. Small brush

Oh, man! I think I need a bigger bag LOL

What’s in your bag? What are your must-carry items?

Confession of a Bag Lady: a Handbag History

For as far back as I can remember, I’ve loved bags, purses, fun wallets, backpacks, fanny packs. I can specifically remember a Flintstones clutch/purse/wallet that I carried when I was probably about 10ish. I don’t even recall liking the Flintstones that much, but I was attracted to all the compartments and card slots in that one though it was super ugly! I searched high and low on Google to find a photo of it, but came up empty. I guess you'll just have to trust me on the ugly factor :)

Not exactly the same as mine, but
you get the idea.

And what about the patchwork quilt purses of the 90s. Had one of those, too. As did my mom and sister. They were all the rage :)

Similar to the one I had

I also spend an entire California vacation on the hunt for a fanny pack. Yes, a fanny pack. It was an exhausting search, but finally found one at a sporting goods store. A neon orange one. I was in heaven. And yet where is it now you ask.. No. Idea.

Think darker turquoise
and more zipper pockets. 

One of my other favorites was the tiny backpack. I had a turquoise sporty one and a sleek black number, because, you know, different occasions. Ironically, those are popular again. I guess like a lot of things, I should have kept them around. It made the perfect carry-all on our trip to Italy.

On my vacation to Panama with my sisters in junior high, I came home with three bags – all brightly colored and handmade.  You know how people collect different things when they travel? Post cards, shells, spoons... Well, I collect bags and purses. It's kinda my thing.

I always bought my bags and purses at retailers like Walmart or Target. As a kid/high school

student/college student, I didn’t have the money for top of the line handbags, especially when I like to have options. But on our honeymoon to St. Thomas, I purchased my first Coach purse… the smallest one you can get and still call it a purse – with a matching coin purse almost equal in size to the actual purse. And several years later, I invested in a larger, violet Coach purse. One with a tiny bug on it. I still have it, but honestly, when I think of how much money I spent on it, I’m appalled. I’m so paranoid about getting it dirty or something happening to it that it spends most of its time in a dust bag. Not my most shining moment as an adult.

So today, you’ll find me carrying Stella and Dot bags. I purchased one of my first S&D bag to double as a diaper bag/pump bag when I had our youngest -  I loved it. And completely wore it out to the point of the handles almost breaking off! I carried it for over 3 years and put it through the ringer. The patterns and textures really seem to be timeless and the bags have a lot of structure and durability. And although they, too can be pricey, I purchased all of mine when they were on sale. I love a good bargain!

My current  everyday bag is also Stella & Dot and is metallic-finish tote bag – perfect for any season in my opinion – and I carry it daily. Fits a 17 inch laptop as well as all my other mom crap and doesn't feel bulky.

My date night bag is also Stella and Dot… a small, slim black clutch with a detachable wristlet. Fits a cell phone, credit card and the essentials perfectly while still being stylish and on trend - I think ;)

What’s your favorite purse/bag from your younger days? What bag are you currently carrying? What's your dream bag/purse?

No, My Kids Don't Get an Allowance...and Here's Why

As the boys were taking forever to get their laundry put away and fighting during the process, it got me thinking...would they be more willing to work together and get it done quickly if they were getting paid for it? Maybe... but here's the thing..

Growing up, I never once received an "allowance." Now, don't misunderstand me. My parents gave us money, but because we earned it. By doing work. Real, actual work. With the family business. and things that were above and beyond. Not everyday household tasks like cleaning up after yourself and picking up your toys. Things like picking dandelions in the yard or leaves out of the landscape rock... the things you did as a child growing up in the 80s :)

Early on, we decided as
parents that we

wouldn't be giving out allowances. Our thought process on this: you shouldn't be getting paid for completing tasks that are basic skills you need to be a productive, functioning member of society - including working as a team with someone you don't particularly like. No one is going to pay you to make your own bed, pick up your own crap, brush your teeth - and if you can't work as a team - good luck holding a job, etc. These are things you must learn to do without fanfare. 

So, as the kids have gotten older, naturally we expect more from them in terms of "chores." And the little one, bless her heart, is having to do more than her brothers did at her age, but that's life.

We have a 9, 7 and 3.5 year old. Here are all the things we expect them to take care of around the house these days:

1. make their own bed
2. clear their plate/load dirty dishes into the dishwasher
3. unload the dishwasher
4. brush their teeth
5. make sure their backpacks are in the car
6. fold and put away their own laundry ( the little one is learning)
7. gather dirty laundry and load it into the washer
8. rotate loads of wet clothes into the dryer
9. grab their own snacks from the snack drawer for school
10. feed the cats
11. put away their toys
12. pick out their own clothes/get dressed (this one can be tricky :))
13. empty track cans/gather all the trash

Do they complete all these tasks without prompting? Some of them - not all. After all, they're 9, 7 and 3.5. But they don't get paid to do them. Not a dime.

Sound cruel? Maybe to some I guess. But we try our best to award good behavior - ie doing what is asked of you - with more family outings, special dinners, coffee shop treats, etc. More time together, rather than money. In my humble opinion, we do a lot for them without paying them for tasks we believe are crucial life skills they should be doing anyway. We have, however, helped them set up a small concession stand as the city garage sale, they've "sold" their artwork to family and EARNED money doing other things.

Depending on the age of your child(ren) and their maturity, the tasks that you ask them to complete will be different. For example, if your child is able to get in and out of a toddler bed/full sids bed, they are at least old enough to help making that bed every day. 

Bottom line, we all parent differently. And that's ok. I believe in my heart we all are doing out best to prepare out kids to be contributing members of society. OUR kids will just learn to do it without an allowance.

Project de-clutter: Tips for organizing and refreshing your space in 2019

It’s winter in Kansas, but with the start of a new year, it seems my brain thinks it’s spring. When the year switched to 2019, it’s like I flipped a switch and went in to Spring cleaning and organizing mode.

OK. OK. I watched an episode of Tidying Up.

ONE episode. And the cleaning and organizing bug bit me. There. I said it.

And I secretly love it. I mean, who says spring is the only time for clearing out clutter and getting organized ?!?

First, it was all the t-shirts - all folded into

small, perfect, tiny, little rectangles. Then, it was the master closet. coat closet, spare bedroom closet.

before

after

before

after

before

after

And I'm still going :) But if you're not ready to go all Marie Kondo just yet, here are several simple ways to refresh your space in the new year:

•         Change out your bedding/comforter/duvet cover
•         Fresh coat of paint
•         Change out the throw pillows on your couch
•         Hang new artwork in space you spend a lot of time in
•         Add drawer/closet organizers to your spaces
•         Add real plants or flowers to your main living spaces
•         Rearrange the furniture in a room
•         Go through each room and remove SOMETHING---de-clutter
•         Add a basket to each room to gather random items that “don’t belong” (Thanks, Chalene Johnson!) 
•         Do a deep clean of a main room - don't forget those base boards :)
•         Add a fun chair to your office space
•         Clean out your fridge, pantry, lazy Susan
•         Change out your shower curtain and bathmats
•         Purge your closets of clothes you don’t wear or don’t fit
•         Clean out that “Junk Drawer” (or 7) that I we all have

I'm definitely no expert, but with any cleaning and organizing project, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, so I encourage you to do a few things before you get started:

1.      Take a walk around your home and Identify areas that you want to tackle and why

2.      Prioritize your list based on what means the most to you

3.      Create a timeline for implementing these changes! DON’T try and tackle them all in a day or even a weekend!

4.      Create a list of the items needed to tackle your first item.

5.      Get to work!!

I’d love to hear about what items you tackled first and see some before/after photos! Share below! And happy tidying 😊

Lucky 13: What I've learned in 13 years of marriage

I don't know about you, but I've been on a podcast kick for awhile now. I subscribe to numerous podcasts and listen to them in the car instead of the radio.

Just a few days ago I listened to a podcast hosted by one of my favorite people Chalene Johnson - The Chalene Show. (If you don't subscribe - I highly recommend!) And while the entire episode offered numerous, great tips on keeping intimacy and passion alive in your marriage (which seemed perfect on the eve of our wedding anniversary), there was one thing in particular that really struck a chord with me:

The behaviors you reward, you receive more of [from your spouse], and the behaviors you "punish", you'll see less. 

Seems obvious, right? 

But then she gave the example of when your spouse attempts to show you affection and you ignore it, show your annoyance or get mad about it. When you do this you're in essence punishing someone showing you AFFECTION!

When you say it out loud you realize just how crazy that sounds.

Now, listen. I'm not saying you can't be in a bad mood or want to be left alone, but I for one know ME and know that I am less than perfect about being kind and tactful in these moments. And it stopped me in my tracks when I could call to memory specific times I had brushed off affection or didn't just say thank you when I was complimented.

Justin and I were high school sweethearts. Anyone who knows us also knows this fact. 1999. That's the year we started dating. 2006. That's the year we were married. For all you mathematicians, that means we've been together for almost 20 years and married for 13. You don't go that amount of time and NOT learn a TON about each other. But having a strong healthy marriage means always striving to be a better, more present, considerate, loving spouse.

So taking Chalene's words to heart, I'm sharing here and will share with my husband just how amazing I think he is and a few ways I plan to make the next 13 years of marriage better than the last.

Ok - he comes the bragging...

Here are a few of the wonderful things about my husband:

He is a great listener. 

Even when I don't think he's listening he is.

And he uses these superb listening skills to surprise me with things I forgot I even mentioned. I made a comment about seeing a show at a dinner theater in town before Christmas. Never brought it up again, and what did this guy do: got us tickets to go see that very show.

I need to be a better listener. Put the phone down, Alicia. Make eye contact. Focus only on him. Block out other distractions.

He is incredibly hard-working.

For as long as we've know each other, Justin has had a job. From umpiring, to Dairy Queen, to the local gas station while we were dating, to Honeywell, a local souvenir shop, umpiring/supervising recreational sports and BE Aerospace and back to Honeywell after we were married, he's always worked extremely hard to provide the best life he can for us.

I need to thank him 
for this everyday. Don't take it for granted. There are not many people I know who  like to do thankless jobs, even as menial as scrubbing a pan that you over-cooked something in. 

He is a kid at heart.

Justin LOVES baseball...watching baseball, playing baseball and talking about baseball. And his face lights up at the thought of baseball. He also loves his video games. The Legend of Zelda is his favorite. And he's also discovered a recent love of comic books. He's nostalgic like me and loves all the things from his childhood. PS - he also sleeps with his childhood blanket. (It's honestly way cute.)

Don't ever let him stop being a kid. Let him play his video games, read the comic books and talk about baseball (within reason, of course :)). These things make him happy. And when he's happy, life is just better. Plus, he indulges me when it comes to gymnastics exhibitions and books and RV shows from when I was little.

He loves things to be clean and organized. (He IS an engineer)

Now I'm not a slob, but if we're comparing the two of us, he definitely wins this category :) He's not the one leaving shoes in random places or hanging sweatshirts on bathroom cabinet nobs.

Disorder and chaos stress him out, therefore I'm really embracing organization, de-cluttering and really making an effort to keep my crap picked up to decrease his stress level. The kids stress him out enough ;)

He is the best dad.

We have three kids that could not be more different from one another, but he has really been great - especially as they have gotten older and started to settle into their unique personalities, about fostering their likes and not using a blanket approach to parenting. With the older one, baseball and all things sports are their thing. With the middle one, it's Cub Scouts, Minecraft and soccer and with the baby... Well, they do whatever it is she wants LOL

Again, make sureh he knows this.

Thank him for all the practices, meetings and activities he makes sure he attends. Don't just think it - say it!

Happy anniversary Justin Scott. Thirteen years and a lifetime to go! I love you!