No, My Kids Don't Get an Allowance...and Here's Why

As the boys were taking forever to get their laundry put away and fighting during the process, it got me thinking...would they be more willing to work together and get it done quickly if they were getting paid for it? Maybe... but here's the thing..

Growing up, I never once received an "allowance." Now, don't misunderstand me. My parents gave us money, but because we earned it. By doing work. Real, actual work. With the family business. and things that were above and beyond. Not everyday household tasks like cleaning up after yourself and picking up your toys. Things like picking dandelions in the yard or leaves out of the landscape rock... the things you did as a child growing up in the 80s :)

Early on, we decided as
parents that we

wouldn't be giving out allowances. Our thought process on this: you shouldn't be getting paid for completing tasks that are basic skills you need to be a productive, functioning member of society - including working as a team with someone you don't particularly like. No one is going to pay you to make your own bed, pick up your own crap, brush your teeth - and if you can't work as a team - good luck holding a job, etc. These are things you must learn to do without fanfare. 

So, as the kids have gotten older, naturally we expect more from them in terms of "chores." And the little one, bless her heart, is having to do more than her brothers did at her age, but that's life.

We have a 9, 7 and 3.5 year old. Here are all the things we expect them to take care of around the house these days:

1. make their own bed
2. clear their plate/load dirty dishes into the dishwasher
3. unload the dishwasher
4. brush their teeth
5. make sure their backpacks are in the car
6. fold and put away their own laundry ( the little one is learning)
7. gather dirty laundry and load it into the washer
8. rotate loads of wet clothes into the dryer
9. grab their own snacks from the snack drawer for school
10. feed the cats
11. put away their toys
12. pick out their own clothes/get dressed (this one can be tricky :))
13. empty track cans/gather all the trash

Do they complete all these tasks without prompting? Some of them - not all. After all, they're 9, 7 and 3.5. But they don't get paid to do them. Not a dime.

Sound cruel? Maybe to some I guess. But we try our best to award good behavior - ie doing what is asked of you - with more family outings, special dinners, coffee shop treats, etc. More time together, rather than money. In my humble opinion, we do a lot for them without paying them for tasks we believe are crucial life skills they should be doing anyway. We have, however, helped them set up a small concession stand as the city garage sale, they've "sold" their artwork to family and EARNED money doing other things.

Depending on the age of your child(ren) and their maturity, the tasks that you ask them to complete will be different. For example, if your child is able to get in and out of a toddler bed/full sids bed, they are at least old enough to help making that bed every day. 

Bottom line, we all parent differently. And that's ok. I believe in my heart we all are doing out best to prepare out kids to be contributing members of society. OUR kids will just learn to do it without an allowance.